Hey Chicago!  You’re getting what you voted for!  The first 90 days’ data (well, 80 days for property crimes) are in and it’s NOT a pretty picture.   Brandon’s got more dead bodies, more shot-and-wounded, and so forth.  Where Big Brain Brandon really shines is motor vehicle thefts where he has more in his first 80 days than his two predecessors had in their first 90 days!  Combined!

HeyJackass has (most) of the numbers…  And Brandon’s are pretty bad.  All over at Substack:

From HeyJackass:

While Brandon Johnson has been busy with selfies and inventing new definitions and meanings for established words commonplace in the English language, “crime is down” is strangely not being uttered much these first 90 days. Not so much because they don’t think crime is down, but one gets the sense that they don’t really care if it is or isn’t. Crime is just one of those things we need to deal with; break a few eggs to make an omelet sort of thing.

As we stated in our “What’s Next” post right after the election, “Having a more pro-crime mayor to go with a pro-crime judiciary and a largely pro-crime city council, crime will stay at the current levels and may even tick up a bit depending on how the SAFE-T Act lawsuits play out.

That said, by most measures, crime has stayed at the levels recorded during the final days of Lori’s reign, and in some cases are quite elevated if compared to the first 90 days of Lori’s or Rahm’s tenure.

Mayor Brandon Johnson

(5/16/23 – 8/14/23)
Shot & Killed: 171
Shot & Wounded: 838
Total Shot: 1,009
Total Homicides: 191
Robbery: 2,092*
Carjacking: 288*
Motor Vehicle Theft: 6,798*
Burglary: 1,672*

Mayor Lori Lightfoot

(5/21/19 – 8/19/19)
Shot & Killed: 133
Shot & Wounded: 813
Total Shot: 946
Total Homicides: 150
Robbery: 2,144
Carjacking: 147
Motor Vehicle Theft: 2,457
Burglary: 2,586

Mayor Rahm Emanuel

(5/19/15 – 8/17/15)
Shot & Killed: 145
Shot & Wounded: 819
Total Shot: 964
Total Homicides: 164
Robbery: 2,434
Carjacking: 80
Motor Vehicle Theft: 2,665
Burglary: 3,460

*non shooting stats for Brandon are for 5/16/23 – 8/4/23 only. Missing the final 10 days due to the city’s data portal not being updated.

Dictionary Updates

In the past few months we’ve been instructed to use new and more sensitive terminology to describe what was once considered criminal behavior.

  • They’re young” – use this term to explain away anything; the verbal equivalent to a get out of jail free card.
  • Silly decisions” – if used in conjunction with “they’re young”, anything and everything can be excused; may as well be a presidential pardon.
  • Large gatherings” – replaces the 1920’s era term of “mob action” as we will no longer associate years of divestment in our youth with mobsters of the Prohibition Era. (See the video link below.)
  • not involved in high-risk activities” – one who is the opposite of a criminal.
  • certain lifestyle” – excused and approved criminal behavior
  • equitable revenue collection” – not sure, but when using the term “equitable” in this fashion, it’s best to replace with the term “retarded” instead.

Contemplating a vacation or work trip to Chicago?  Sure.  Come for the pizza.  Stay because you got carjacked of your ride or because you got killed.

One thought on “LET’S GO BRANDON! Brandon’s First 90 days are not pretty”
  1. Comrade Brandon can’t even comprehend the mess he’s inherited or the mess he’s making far worse. Almost 7,000 cars stolen in three months !!!!???? WTF ??? I just hope the self loathing BLM supporting white liberals that voted for Big Brain Brandon don’t start having doubts about their virtue signaling vote just because a stolen car load of “oppressed” young men pulls up and relieves them of their belongings and maybe stomps a mud hole in their ass. Such doubts are clearly racist.

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