You just never know who’s giving advice on Reddit.  It’s the internet, after all.

Story time:  Many years ago I knew a lawyer.  He was a nice guy but a lonely guy.  As far as I knew he had gone out on a single date since his second wife killed herself maybe ten years before I met him at a gun-related function.  Yet in his spare time, he dabbled on a dating website offering advice to guys and gals on relationships and dating.  He was one of that website’s primary resident experts on dating, relationships and love.  It was at that point that I internalized the simple truth:  read everything on the internet with a skeptical eye.

On a “Crime in Chicago” Reddit post, a well-meaning person offered some advice on how to live in Robbery City USA.  I’ll fisk it for everyone as a firearms and personal defense instructor with 25 years’ experience teaching thousands and sharing thousands of articles to millions of people over those years…

ive wanted to share something like this for the last couple of weeks. here goes

the big ideas here are to dont stop living your life and definitely dont get paranoid about the few and isolated robberies that have been occurring.

The denial response.  What is a denial response?

Denial is a type of defense mechanism that involves ignoring the reality of a situation to avoid anxiety. Defense mechanisms are strategies that people use to cope with distressing feelings. In the case of denial, it can involve not acknowledging reality or denying the consequences of that reality.

The robberies are commonplace and happening everywhere.  “A few”?  Sometimes two dozen or more are reported in a single day.  Given that most of these aren’t even reported.  Why?  Because people don’t want to wait hours for a cop to show up (assuming they answer 911 at all!) and even if the cops do take a report there’s about a 1% chance that they’ll catch the perps.  So in reality, if only 40% of serious crimes are being reported (as research suggests), that means there’s upwards of fifty or more every day across the city.

Smart folks simply chalk it up as a loss and move on with life.

dont fight or get an attitude with robbers because you will get hurt.

Really?  Arguably decent advice.  But if you practice situational awareness, you CAN interrupt their OODA loop and cause them to abandon you as their intended victim before they reach they are on you.  Instead of freezing in fear, drive away – or over the bastards if they’re in front of your car.  If they’re pointing a gun at you, steer into them while ducking down.  Make them a hood ornament.

While walking, if you see a carload a young men looking at you hard while idling by, you better run like the wind or drive away.  This goes double if they’re wearing masks.  If you’re armed and leaving the area isn’t feasible, then find cover, access your firearm and prepare to defend yourself.   If the worst happens, fight back and shoot the bastards dead.

The vast majority of suspects thus far in Chicago are young black males, ages roughly 12 to early 20s.  Their willingness to use violence against others is the currency among their peers.

Anyone loitering on foot without a sense of purpose (or driving without a sense of purpose) is probably up to no good.  Put distance and obstacles between you and them.  Distance and obstacles give you time to react.  Time gives you options and options mean safety.

The three most dangerous places people are likely to be attacked in this manner are gas stations, parking lots and that last fifty or hundred feet to their front door.  Although in Chicago, walking down the sidewalk without a lot of other pedestrians around or unloading your car parked on the street is right up there for dangerous activities.  Even in the middle of the day.

dont stop going out at night becauuse nighttime in chicago is the fucking best.

Because going out at night in Chicago is worth risking your life or getting robbed?  That must be some pretty awesome night life…

you want to keep all of your real valuables hidden on your person and keep fake valuables visible and readily accessible to any would be robbers.

Good advice.  Better advice:  Don’t go to places where you need to hide your real valuables on your person and keep fake valuables visible.

Just like some might say wearing body armor when going to the range.  Better advice:  don’t go to ranges where you need to wear armor.

these robbery crews will batter you if you dont have anything on you.

They will.

so order prop money off of the internet [Editor’s link] and carry it in your wallet. youd be amazed at how realistic it looks,. load your wallet or purse with expired gift cards or colorful hotel room carts etcetera. keep your active credit cards and keep your real money and important keys anywhere else on your person except your pockets. i use an ankle pouch

delete all payment apps or keep them linked to bank accounts where you have only a couple hundred dollars in them

Also good advice.  Better advice?  Don’t have payment apps on your phone.

pepper spray. carry it and be confident in its use. order 2 of them so you can practice with one. obviously do not pull out pepper spray if someone has a gun pulled on you and only pull it out as a last resort if someone has a knife on you. best to just slowly walk away from the threat

Pepper spray someone with a knife?  I’ll pay for your life insurance policy if you make me your beneficiary.  You better plan on getting poked and slashed doing stupid stuff like that.  That’s potentially even more dangerous than pulling pepper spray on someone with a gun.

these robberies are happening in sprees. listen to chicago police citywide1 on openmhz to see if there are any robbery sprees going on . citywide1 does not have a delay and is not encrypted and robberies get announced over citywide1 on this link

Keep your head on a swivel instead of buried in your phone (or up your butt).  And keep earbuds out of your ears.

i carry a small but very bright flashlight. spent about 40 bucks on it. if i am in a very dark unlit portion of the city and someone walks or pulls up on me and makes my spidey sense go off, i aggresively blast them with it. it is temporarily blinding and they think youre an off duty cop. fortunately ive only had to use this one several times in the last few years, and i am out at night ALOT

Good tip.  Flashlights make great potential weapons.  But don’t deploy the light when they’re already on top of you.  And if there’s multiples, the ones that don’t get blinded will canoe your head with their full-auto Glocks.

an idea i had yesterday was to keep your real phone anywhere but your pockets or backpack or purse, and keep an old or dead phone in your pocket or backpack or purse instead. order a dead one off of ebay and plug a pair of old wired earbuds into it so it looks like youve been using it

Old phone?  Great.  So long as you keep in charged.  They’re gonna want you to unlock it before they take it.

i dont have a car but my gf does. a new keyfob would cost her about $500 total with programming. she keeps her keyfob and our apartment key off of her keyring and anywhere besides her pockets or purse or backpack

Again, good advice.  Much better advice: don’t go places where you need to take steps like this.

i hope this helps and i hope others will share any tips they might have

A gazillion “tips” but not a damn syllable on situational awareness.

I won’t get too upset with this guy.  There more people  (sheeple) like this walking the streets of Chicago mean less likelihood of the people I care about becoming a victim there.   Instead of considering victimizing the people aware of their surroundings with a command presence (and a gun on their hip or in their pocket/purse), the bad guys will pick the people busy with task fixation trying to get their silly scanner app to work with their earbuds, oblivious to their surroundings in order to have experience the great “nighttime in Chicago is the effing best!”

6 thoughts on “Some Reddit advice on coping with Chicago’s prolific armed robberies borders on insane”
  1. The best advice in the article is also the easiest to follow…. Stay out of the garbage can known as Chicago. These tips are insane. why go threw bullshit like carrying movie prop money, fake phones, etc. ? why risk legal problems that would arise from putting filth in the cemetery ? Plenty of very nice places to go way out in the suburbs or out of state. Let the stupid asses who voted for this be the ones getting patted down by criminals before getting kicked in the face. Let the sucker like the one in the first photo be the victim. He walks past some asshole wearing a ski mask in August and never looks back. maybe worry about your safety instead of your pizza and you wouldn’t be minus a phone, laptop, backpack, wallet.

  2. It has been probably 20 years ago but I still remember the news article. A female U of I student was walking alone at night wearing a hoodie with ear buds and her nose in her phone. She was struck in the back of the head and robbed. She was not even a witness to her own mugging.

  3. Put a big brush guard on my truck. Originally it was for deer. Now it’s for protecting myself and my paint job.

  4. Thanks for talking about the defensive mechanism known as DENIAL to avoid anxiety and to IGNORE the reality of the situation. We see it almost daily on this website in the articles and comments. It’s called blaming Pritzker for this gun ban and the registry while giving rank and file state police troopers a pass on the problem. It’s comical to watch people dance around the fact that the officers on the streets are the ones who will do the arresting and charging people with made-up felonies. Repeatedly telling people that is like talking to a wall, hence, the defense mechanism. Pritzker isn’t hunting down and arresting people. The Dems aren’t tracking ammo or maintaining a gun registry. Anyone else getting blamed isn’t doing that stuff either. THE COPS ARE!!!!! Specifically, the Illinois State Police. YET they get the pass. It’s like battered wife syndrome. Any person with a functional brain can see that. But why would someone in DENIAL do that? They do it because they have been lured into thinking the Republican Party was pro-2A and their friend. This gun ban is like covid was. People that you thought were rational all of these years turned out to be the ones wearing a mask alone in the car. In the General Assembly, people you thought were there for you and to protect your rights like Plummer instead feels sympathy for the agency out to cause harm on you like the ISP and adding to that, they are in favor of further funding this agency with your money to carry out the mission of disarming Americans. The ones you sent to Springfield to help you turned around and betrayed you and you can’t accept the reality that you are on your own. You can’t accept the reality that don’t have friends in the General Assembly when the rubber meets the road. You are in DENIAL as a defense mechanism to avoid the anxiety and reality of the situation. EXCELLENT ARTICLE!!

  5. I read this guy’s advice twice. Loved your comments, Mr. Boch. This guy sounds like he goes to a lot of trouble and expense to enjoy that “f****** great nightlife.” Fake money, fake phones, fake valuables? Is he a goddamn play actor? Is it worth it? Not to me, but my “nightlife” days are long gone. My wife and I are usually out by 10. If I’m up past that because I can’t sleep, it’s not at some bar, it’s in my living room recliner.

  6. Deadly force is an action, not a tool. As an example were you on an airplane being hijacked by shits with box cutters the in flight magazine rolled to a tight point makes an excellent blocking tool; as well as a concentrated point to drive through the thin skull on the side of the head to the side of the eye. If one is not prepared, aware, and willing the magazine is nothing more than a bathroom amusement. We all live in a nurturing society and must learn to overcome this in measured ways.

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