A star is born thanks to American social media. It all begins with the media-fueled belief that every man in Texas has an armory in their home. Every urban legend has a grain of truth in it. In Texas, many of the women have an arsenal too.
Anyway, our newest “star” named Jason Rogers claims he’s a man from Texas. Note I didn’t say he was a “Texas Man.” If he indeed is from Texas, he must hail from Austin. Here’s how he describes himself on Twitter: “Army vet, Former English teacher at Angelina College, current diesel tech. SFA alumnus. Ran for Texas House a few times. Lost a few times.”
Well now, some real Texans narrowly dodged a bullet thanks to their votes for his opponents.
Anyway, ol’ Jason’s trying to claim his 15 minutes of fame in life. Jason’s “sick” about all the guns in Texas. His ticket for attempted admission to the “15 minutes of fame” club is his Mossberg 500 bird gun… “Mine” he writes, suggesting that he only has a single gun.
I don’t consider myself the manliest of men (I really need to get back to the gym), but I’ve got two guns on my person at the moment and I’m at home. In Illinois.
What kind of real Texas man only has a single Mossberg birdgun?
I rest my case. This man is no Texas man. In fact, I’m not sure he’s from Texas.
Anyway, our brain surgeon puts his poor, defenseless shotgun on a stack of three boards and proceeds to assault it with a sledge hammer.
It’s akin to beating your redheaded step child. And about as productive.
Not satisfied with beating it just once or twice, he goes at it a third time. Kudos to Mossberg for making sturdy shotguns.
His wife is surely so proud of him. Or maybe she’s happy he’s beating that poor shotgun instead of her. Who knows.
I’m an Army veteran.— Jason Rogers (@Rogers4Texas) July 2, 2023
And I’m sick of all the guns here in Texas, so I’m starting with mine: pic.twitter.com/38YYJIeNQf
You might be an Army vet, sir. You’re also a dimwit. But I’ll defend your right to be a dimwit with all of my might.