Ladies and Gentlemen!  Meet today’s posterchild for Chicago crime without consequences.  Chicago PD has tied Christopher Peters (not the one I went to school with as a child) with a nasty armed robbery.  That crime left a cashier barely surviving bleeding out after getting stabbed repeatedly in the head and arm.

But did Christopher Peters stop and render aid?


Hardly.  He was busy stealing not one, but two Gatorades from the store.

If fairness, store video shows this career thug also tried to steal some cash from the till but his buddies already beat him to that punch.  Heck, there weren’t even any pennies for Peters to pilfer. 

But he got those Gatorades.  Armed robbery is such dehydrating work, right?

Too bad the clerk didn’t have a handgun.

CWB Chicago has the deets:

CHICAGO — Prosecutors yesterday accused a second man of participating in the group robbery of a downtown Chicago store that resulted in a cashier being stabbed this spring.

Christopher Peters, 19, was on bail for a pending stolen motor vehicle case, on juvenile parole for a Will County burglary, and on juvenile probation for possessing a stolen motor vehicle when he helped rob Americana Submarine and Tobacco Shop, 400 South Clark, around 5:20 a.m. on April 20, Assistant State’s Attorney Lorraine Scaduto said.

Keep reading if you really want to get nauseous reading about how the criminal justice system has repeatedly failed to protect the productive people of Chicago from this menace to society.

Folks, if you need another reason not to leave your gun at home today because it weighs a little extra on your belt or in your purse, read his punk’s story.  He would leave you to die over a goddamn Gatorade.

The polite thing to do would be to kill him first in self-defense.

8 thoughts on “TRIFECTA! Meet the mope out on BAIL, PAROLE *and* PROBATION who police say participated in armed robbery that left cashier stabbed & nearly bleeding to death”
  1. He would kill or let someone die over two Gatorades? We had a solution for that in the 1800s. Rope, tree, bad guy. Some assembly required.

    1. Rope, tree, bad guy, some assembly required. I like it, if you don’t mind I will start to use this in conversation.
      Thanks Freddy!

    2. Two Gatorade’s… a new low. Yeah, he’s not a productive member of anything.

  2. I think I can claim victory now. You guys have completely turned around in your thinking. 3, 4 years ago. I was roundly criticized for saying similar things. Now that you’ve come around to my way of thinking, my work here – except maintenance – is done.
    In Larry Underwood’s (from Stephen (“gladys”) King’s “The Stand”) voice: “VICTORY!!!”

    P.S. you still need a Lil work on your boot-licking, though!

  3. Give Mr. Peters the job of kicking stuck limbs into the wood chipper. Make sure he wears a safety harness that won’t let most of him get past the chipping mechanism. Safety, ya know.

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