Chicago isn’t safe. Not even for decent people living in “decent” neighborhoods.  For example, in one neighborhood just east of Chicago’s O’Hare Airport, an 80-year-old man faced down a pair of drug-abusing career criminals, and ended up shooting both.  However, dumb luck or good fortune cheated Mr. Darwin.

The block where the home invasion happened. Screen capture by Boch via Google Images.

The 80-year-old man was minding his own business at home recovering from prostate surgery. He answered a knock on the door and a pair of home invaders knocked him down and beat on him before inviting themselves inside to rob him.

Unfortunately for the home invaders, this 80-year-old man had bigger cajones than Mayor Lori Lightfoot (who claims to have the biggest schlong in Chicago).  He retreated to his bedroom, grabbed his gun and started blasting.

His first shot grazed the head of the female half named Tabitha Hemphill (pictured above) as she stole money from his dresser drawers.  Speaking of drawers, we don’t know if she needed a change of her own, but we do know she had some heroin hidden in her vajayjay.  More on that in a moment.

From there, the spry old feller went after the male half.

He found the male half of the invasion team, a 13-time felon named Mansfield Wallace (also pictured above) – who police say was paroled from prison not even two months earlier – in the living room area.  Wallace didn’t retreat from the gun, instead he advanced on the old man.  The two struggled for control of the pistol.  The struggle grew increasingly challenging for the ex-con after the old man shot the career felon in the chest a couple of times.

Yeah, that’ll take the fight right outta someone.

Somehow the invaders did manage to wrest control of the gun from the old man and then promptly fled, both leaking from their respective wounds.

Cue the sad trombone, right?

Cops caught up with the pair at the hospital, where the male half remains in critical condition.  While the mainstream media said the woman “dropped off” the male half, a more accurate description would go more like “unceremoniously dumped out” the male half outside of the door, staining the concrete with his blood.

Unfortunately for her, surveillance cameras captured her dumping her partner out at the Emergency Department entrance at Resurrection Hospital.  And lo and behold, wouldn’t you know they found a car matching the description of the car not far away.  Police found the woman with proceeds from the crime, the old man’s watch, the old man’s gun in the car and to top it all off, a bag of heroin in her vajayjay.

Oh, her parents would be so proud of her.

From CWB Chicago:

Chicago — An 80-year-old man recovering from prostate surgery fought and shot a home invader who broke into his Chicago home this week, leaving the 13-time felon in critical condition, officials said. The tenacious octogenarian also fired a shot that left a graze wound on a second home invader’s head. Prosecutors said the victim did not know the offenders.

The victim was in his recliner, recuperating from surgery, when someone knocked on his front door in the 8500 block of West Catherine around 10:30 Monday morning. The elderly man opened the door, thinking it was a neighbor who had been checking on him since his surgery, only to find 51-year-old parolee Mansfield Wallace on the other side, according to prosecutors.

Wallace allegedly forced his way in, pushed the victim to the ground, and physically fought him on the ground and then on their feet. The victim, a licensed gun owner, broke free and retrieved a pistol from his bedroom.

As he did, he noticed Tabitha Hemphill, 31, near a dresser where he kept his money, prosecutors said. The victim fired a shot at Hemphill, grazing her head.

He returned to the living room, fought with Wallace again, and fell to the ground as they struggled to control the pistol.

Prosecutors said the gun fired two times during the fight, striking Wallace in the chest.

Wallace allegedly took the gun away, stole a watch from the victim’s arm, and fled in a stolen car with Hemphill.

CBS Chicago caught up with a couple of the neighbors in the aftermath of the incident.  Not a one of them had any sympathy for the home invasion duo.  Then again, with the woman’s hairdo, whoever styles her should face criminal charges as well.

Tabitha Hemphill.

From CBS 2:

Many in the neighborhood were rattled by the attack, but relieved that the victim defended himself. One woman who spoke to CBS 2 asked to remain anonymous.

“I am really heartbroken for him and the family, because he was at home alone and he must’ve been really scared when it happened,” she said. “You never know if someone’s going to come to help you in time, so this could’ve ended really badly.”

Kenny Vierneisel, another nearby resident, said, “I’m glad that he protected himself. If someone breaks into my apartment, I’m going to do the same thing. Right?”

Imagine that, despite people like Shannon Watts telling people that guns are icky and never used in self defense, real Americans still understand that the only thing that stops bad people with evil in their hearts is a good guy (or gal) with a gun.

6 thoughts on “DARWIN CHEATED: Spry 80-year-old shoots pair of violent home invaders in Chicago”
  1. I bet the old guy keeps his pistola a lot closer than in his bedroom when he is in his recliner from now on. I wish him well and God Speed for his recovery from the trauma of the home invasion.
    Nothing better than eliminating scum thugs like these two invaders; no redeeming value to society for these two oxygen wasters.

  2. What a couple of home invaders. Jesus. And the drugs in her vagina were the cherry on top. Or maybe yeast infection on bottom? Who would want to live around people like that?

  3. It is too bad both will recover to offend again. Next time, make sure to shoot them both in a more vital area. Vermin should be stepped upon.

  4. Did the 80 suffer any other financial loss besides ammo expended, and more doctor bills? WE should help him with that.

    1. Agreed. He did the community a service by ventilating this walking stool sample. The least we could do is reimburse him his ammo. Preferably, with a better performing brand in case the sewer backs up again.

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