The UK Daily Mirror published a piece sounding the alarm at the rapidly increasing popularity of gun-themed baby names in America. Of course, the piece launches with the number of people who perish from gunshot wounds each day. And fails to mention that at least twice as many defensive gun uses occur.

“In fact, a worryingly significant minority of parents are showing their devotion to the Second Amendment by naming their children after weapons,” Ruth Halkon wrote, as though naming your kid with gun-themed names is a bad thing.

Sorry if Americans are built of sturdier stuff than the average brown-toothed Brit, who’s been conditioned to soil their shorts at anything firearm-related. Like a stray round of ammo. From the York Press:

A STARTLED man has told how he found a bullet lying in a York city-centre street.

Tim Stark said he was unloading items into the MOR Music store where he works in Fossgate yesterday morning when he spotted what he believed to be a live .22 bullet gleaming in a puddle.

He said he immediately called police, who came and took it away.

…A North Yorkshire Police spokesman said the bullet had been put into safe storage, and CID had confirmed it was not thought to be connected with any incident currently under investigation.

But back to the scandalized Ms. Halkon who’s chewing her fingernails in her story in the Mirror.

Babies named after guns on the rise in US despite shooting sprees with thousands following trend

…Gunner is the most popular choice for gun-toting parents, but other names like Trigger, Shooter, Caliber and Pistol are proving popular.

Gunner was given to over 1500 baby boys last year. Taken together with the 750 boys named Gunnar, an authentic Scandinavian name meaning “bold warrior,” it comes among the Top 200 boys’ names.

Her report somehow grew even more shrill with this revelation she shared with readers:

Violent parents are also embracing medieval weapons like Mace, Blade, Saber, Saw, and Dagger for boys as well as Sabre for girls.

Oh noes! But Halkon isn’t done venturing deep into the weeds with this gem at the end:

US baby name blogger and author Laura Wattenberg speculated last year the rise in violent names was due to the gun lobby feeling under threat.

Talk about living in an alternate universe.

While she did mention 31 babies named “Jihad”, somehow she neglected to mention the most popular baby name in Great Britain. Probably just an oversight.