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Darwin wins again! Teen shoots privates while “cleaning” gun… yeah!

September 10, 2012

Michael Smeriglio.
Photo courtesy WTSP.


So, you’re an 18-year-old stud with a BMW car, you like to smoke cancer sticks and you got yourself a new pistol at a party a month before…  I mean, we always carry some extra greenbacks with us so when we find a great deal on a gat at a party, we can proceed with the purchase with great haste, right? (Wrong, for the sarcastically impaired.)

And you shoot your junk off putting your pistol in your pants “Mexican” style (that’s without a holster for non-gun aficionado readers).

So what do you do?

First you tell the cops someone else did that to you because no self-respecting white trash stud would be caught dead admitting he shot his penis off (along with one of his little jewels) with his gat.

Then when the cops chuckle and walk out of the room and bust out laughing, then you change your story and say you were cleaning your gun.  Using what?  Your penis?

Oh, and guess what cops found while investigating the “crime” scene?  If you suspected some street pharma, you would be right.

Anyway, here’s the story of Michael the Magnificent taking himself out of the gene reproduction pool.

Thank goodness for Charles Darwin!


PORT ST. LUCIE, Florida (WTSP) — A teenager is recovering after
police say he shot himself in the penis and testicle while cleaning a gun he just bought.

It happened Thursday morning at a home on the 200 block of Verada Street in Port St. Lucie.

Police say 18-year-old Michael Smeriglio first lied to police saying someone shot him while he was walking down the street. After being questioned by police he admitted to accidentally doing it himself.

Doctors say the bullet went through his penis, his left testicle and then lodged itself in his thigh.

Smeriglio told police he bought the gun last month at a party.


6 Responses to Darwin wins again! Teen shoots privates while “cleaning” gun… yeah!

  1. Dave Dworak on September 11, 2012 at 10:57 am

    Holy Balls!

    A real dead-eyed Dick!

  2. theaton on September 11, 2012 at 11:59 am

    What is wrong with carrying cash? What is wrong with two people buying or selling personal property between themselves? What is wrong with owning a BMW? What is wrong with putting whatever you want to in your body (cancer sticks)? Other than second hand smoke, does any of the above behaviors harm you in any way? The author is a good example of how freedom is lost in America! He is also a good example of what public education has done for the country.

    • Eric on September 11, 2012 at 3:19 pm

      Well said! How did that get on this site?! I “liked” this because I despise articles like this! And as a side note, Darwin said on his dying bed that his theories are garbage. I’m just sayin.

  3. Eric on September 11, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    Although it is in fact probably a good thing this guy won’t be reproducing. What a tool… he shot his dick off! 😉

  4. jboch on September 11, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    LOL. I’m sorry. We believe in carrying cash and having choices about what to put into your body.

    We DON’T carry money to buy guns at parties at oh-dark-hundred in the morning.

    That’s kinda like a young child buying candy from a strange man in a beat-up van.

    There’s just too many things that can go wrong with that.

    Furthermore, this jackwagon that now sings partially soprano is nothing but a model of poor decision making skills.


  5. Mike the Limey on September 11, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    That put some lead in his pencil!

    He should be used as a poster-child for promoting firearms education.