They say smells are free.¬ Florida Man Edward Alexander Barfield, 35, certainly enjoyed them as he hid in a porta-potty for hours last week waiting for the right moment to carjack a cute bartender (and maybe more) after a “neighborhood” bar in Sanford, FL closed.¬† Things went further to poop when Mr. Barfield emerged from the crapper to attack the woman, taking her to the ground.¬† She fought back and then her boyfriend showed up.

Like pretty much most decent good guys in Florida, the boyfriend had his gun on him.¬† He showed up at closing time at the request of his girlfriend’s father to help make sure she made it home safely.¬† Thank heavens the boyfriend wasn’t too late.

Seeing his girlfriend under vicious attack, he jumped out and proceeded to end the attack and Mr. Barfield behind the bar, all in a few shots.¬† Right next to the porta-john.¬† What a lousy way and worse place to go, right?¬† Couldn’t have happened to a nicer perp.¬†¬

It could have been worse!  He could have fallen into the blue water after getting shot before dying.

The bartender, who’s also a college student working on a nursing degree, suffered some injuries but is expected to fully recover.¬† Hallelujah.

Fox35 Orlando has the story.

Sanford Police said detectives are still trying to identify a man who was shot and killed after they said¬ he tried carjacking an employee behind a bar. The employee’s father described his daughter as a fighter who suffered lots of bruises during the attack but is doing alright. She even wanted to go back to work immediately, despite the attack…

According to police, based on surveillance video, a man jumped out of this portable toilet and tried to steal the employee’s vehicle, and that was when another man, described as the carjacking victim’s boyfriend, shot and killed the alleged carjacker…¬

The father of the victim said his daughter suffered mild injuries to her head after the suspect attacked her. He said she is a bartender at George‚Äôs Tavern and had just finished her shift. He asked her boyfriend to come by at the end of the night to make sure she got home safely. According to police, when the boyfriend saw what was happening, he removed his gun from his waist and shot the man.¬

“Thank God her boyfriend is a special ops guy and come out and saved her life,” Moon said.

“Thank God her boyfriend…¬† came out and saved her life.”¬† Indeed.

Bravo for toxic masculinity.

3 thoughts on “CRAPPY: Florida Man emerges from outhouse to carjack female bartender at closing time…”
    1. Someone else reads Weasel Zippers I see. Yes, indeed. Should’ve provided aid by dunking him in the tank of the porta-john to irrigate his wounds.

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