The fantasy-land football ad policy document will launch even the casual Super Bowl viewer into a fit of gigglesnorts. It outlines copious content restrictions covering alcohol, “nude or semi-nude performers,” firearms, gambling, and “movies, video games and other media that contain or promote objectionable material or subject matter (e.g., overtly sexual or excessively violent material).”
The NFL is free to accept or reject any advertiser it wants to, of course. But its “prohibited content” list seems a far more accurate description of your average Super Bowl half-time performance and ad rundown. Between Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunctions and Beyonce’s leather-clad dry-humping, the football execs have embraced lucrative vulgar ads over the years that have featured:
—An upside-down clown who appears to pour Bud Light beer up his rear end.
—A bizarre sex-change operation analogy to tout Holiday Inn’s hotel upgrades.
—A barefoot Kenyan runner violently dragged to the ground by white hunters and forced to wear a pair of Just For Feet running shoes.
—A flatulent Budweiser horse whose emissions cause a candle to torch a woman’s hair.
—Ad characters getting electrocuted, run over by buses, kicked, punched, tackled, thrown out of high-rise buildings, and attacked by crotch-biting dogs.
Skeezy Super Bowl spots have degraded women with everything from soapy car washes and jiggling bikini tops to squirty burgers and suntan lotion sessions to group stripper pole dances. The NFL regularly airs trailers for violent Hollywood movies and video games. In the aftermath of the Newtown massacre last year, for example, a commercial promoting the shoot-em-up flick “Gangster Squad” aired during a Colts-Texans game, and a spot promoting the M-rated video game “Hitman: Absolution” aired during a post-game show.
The NFL’s laughable ad policy also restricts “social cause/advocacy advertising,” presumably in the interest of neutrality. But the league itself has discouraged players from using weapons at home for legal self-defense and has opposed legal Wisconsin concealed-carry weapons holders from bringing their weapons into Lambeau Field.
Meanwhile, notorious motormouth Bob Costas was free to hijack Sunday Night Football last year to attack America’s “gun culture.” The wannabe MSNBC host exploited the murder-suicide of NFL player Jovan Belcher, claiming that “handguns do not enhance our safety” and ignoring the millions of successful defensive uses of handguns.
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