You know, if you’ve got a store in your town named “The Obama Express Food Market”, that might be a clue to keep on driving to the next convenience store if you value your health, wealth and/or ability to earn an income.  Particularly when they use Obama’s campaign logo on the sign.

Yep, those are clues.

This goes not double, but squared for after the sun goes down and cubed after midnight.

There is just such an Obama Express Food Market in St. Petersburg, FL.

It’s frequented by a some not-so-nice folks, including until recently, one with name Jhai-quel Rai-Tez.

Would it surprise you to know that the police have been to the store on not one, not two, but two hundred six calls for service in the past six months?

Two hundred six.

Hence what happened to the real Jhai-quel Rai-Tez Black isn’t exactly a big surprise.  Yep, Jhai-quel Rai-Tez is a real name.  Don’t ask us how to pronounce it.

He came into the store at 3:30am with a chip on his shoulder.  Jhai-quel Rai-Tez was told to leave and got belligerent.  No doubt shouting all sorts of profanity, he pulled out a gun and started threatening people like he was a tough-guy rap star who could do whatever he wanted because he had a gun.

Well, guess what?  He found out two things the hard way:   He found out that good guys with guns stop belligerent thugs threatening innocent people.  Jhai-quel Rai-Tez also learned the hard way that he was indeed not bulletproof.

Yes, good guys with guns working security (another clue this isn’t the safest place to spend your time) promptly ended the threat posed by Mr. Jhai-quel Rai-Tez Black.

BayNews9 has the story, but we’ve given you the highlights.

Lessons learned:

Avoid any store with “Obama” in the name.

Avoid any store with “Obama” in the name after dark.

Avoid any store with “Obama” in the name after midnight.

Avoid any store with “Obama” in the name after midnight when it’s frequented by people like Jhai-qual Rai-Tez.

Avoid any store with “Obama” in the name after midnight when it’s frequented by people like Jhai-qual Rai-Tez who pull out guns and act like though thugs.

Thankfully, no good guys were injured in the making of this news report.  It could have been a lot different if Jhai-qual Rai-Tez (why do I keep wanting to spell his middle name Rai-Tex?) had shot first.

Jhai-qual Rai-Tez



12 thoughts on “HE CAN’T BREATHE: Good guys with guns cut short Jhai-quel Rai-Tez Black’s rampage at the Obama Market”
  1. LOL. I think he might be a little old to be that, but it might fit. We’ll see if his family opens their mouths to the media.


  2. “He can’t breathe!”

    I laughed so hard my wife asked what was so funny.

    Proving once again that nothing good happens after midnight. Especially if you’re stupid.


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