Oh, bravo, folks! Another stellar performance in the Chicago campus crime theater: a woman straight-up murdered in the parking garage at UI Health on the UIC campus.
But hey, don’t lose sleep over it—the cops are chalking it up to a cozy little domestic violence spat. Phew, crisis averted… unless, you know, you’re the lucky collateral damage in the next wild-west shootout at the UI Chicago Health rodeo. Safety first, right?
And thank heavens it’s a sacred “gun-free” zone! That invisible force field of good intentions surely stopped the bullets cold. Oh, wait—nope, plot twist: turns out laws against murder are also on the books. Shocking, I know. But criminals? Those adorable rule-followers just can’t resist thumbing their noses at both gun bans and basic human decency.
Here we are, folks, clutching our pearls in a feel-good fantasy land. If only that poor mom had packed some heat to return fire, we might’ve had ourselves a blockbuster ending instead of this tragic rerun. But nah, let’s keep betting lives on “No Guns Allowed” signs—worked wonders so far!
The Chicago Sun-Times has more.
A woman on her way to an appointment at UI Health was fatally shot in a parking garage Tuesday in the 1100 block of South Wood Street in Little Italy in what hospital officials say may have been a domestic-related attack, according to a release from UI Health.
Investigators with UIC police believe the shooting, which occurred at 1:35 p.m., “may be related to a domestic dispute,” according to the statement. Chicago police deferred to UIC police, according to a spokesperson.
Are they going to bill her for the missed appointment?