What happens when three drunk aspiring rocket surgeons get hung up on railroad tracks after turning a little prematurely? Comedy gold!
“Turn left now,” the Google woman told him… but he was too drunk to understand you turn left at the intersection, not onto the railroad tracks.
What happens next? Turn up the volume! One special needs drunk (we can’t say “retard” anymore, apparently) has lots of ideas. The girl – Amber – offers her advice, “just breathe!”
“How do I get both wheels to spin?” “Jake” (Jacob Anders) the driver asks. (Pro-tip: Put your head between the wheel and the track! That’ll help with traction!)
The driver beats up a sign – like that’s gonna help. Then the female is demanding someone to “get my shoes!” Over and over again. Priorities, right?
Between the three of them they don’t have enough smarts to come in out of the rain. These people would fail out of the Special Olympics.
The driver gets in and out of the car. “I’m going to jail!” No kidding? The good news is that they aren’t going to hold you.
He beats up the sign some more – obviously he has serious anger issues. Hopefully Amber’s mom and dad see what a violence-prone idiot she’s dating.
Then the train comes.
The train takes care of the stuck car, turning a formerly decent car into scrap metal.
Hope Jake’s parents like making payments on that car for the next few years.
And can you imagine his car insurance rates? He’ll be on the special rates for drunk drivers, plus extra special rates for people who park their cars on railroad tracks.
Here’s a story from local media that may have the video...
Hope that’s not Jake from State Farm.
Yet another unavailable video.