Nothing good happens after using violence in a case of self-defense…other than living to see another day. Unfortunately, I’ve been there and done that and have the bills, the dashcam video, and the therapist notes to show for it.
Real life isn’t like Hollywood. In the real world, the good guy doesn’t walk off into the sunset with the pretty woman to live happily ever after. Far from it. For those already married (like me), your spouse might not even support your use of force in self-defense. See how that makes you feel.
In this world, following a deadly force incident, not only may the good guy receive physical injuries, but mental fallout as well. That’s where a good therapist can make a world of difference, but many, if not most people fail to avail themselves to that treatment. And PTSD just keeps simmering in the background, eating away at them for years.
Those are the better outcomes to using righteous force. Even if you use force to counter criminal violence, you may still end up dead or crippled for life. If you live, you may well be arrested, strip-searched, and thrown in jail with a bunch of ne’er-do-wells. You could be sued by the criminal or his or her next-of-kin.
Those who use lethal force in self-defense frequently experience sleep disturbances (that’s a nice way of saying “nightmares”), PTSD and can suffer the Mark of Cain where folks look at them very differently after the incident.
Then, as an added bonus, you may also suffer depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, sexual dysfunction, and other health effects from the stress. You may turn to food, recreational or pharmaceutical drugs, or alcohol to cope.
You may be stripped of your guns while police investigate the case. All that while, at the same time, the criminal’s kinfolk may seek retribution from you or your now-disarmed family.
As I mentioned above, your spouse may be critical of your decision to use force in self-defense. Ditto for friends and family. You may even lose some “friends” and you might even lose your job. Or get a divorce. The financial implications can be staggering, especially if you don’t have a legal coverage insurance policy.
Understanding some of the above life-changing risks of using deadly force, you can and should think really hard before intervening in an issue that doesn’t involve you or your family. Yes, your gut instinct might be charge in like a white knight. But it’s far better to assess the situation and first ask yourself, “Is this my circus and are these my monkeys?”
Slow down, find cover, and evaluate things dispassionately. Force yourself to break tunnel vision (and auditory exclusion) to take in what else is happening around you.
Make sure truly life-threatening exigent circumstances exist. Would an average anti-gun Suzy Soccermom believe that the victim is truly under threat of death or great bodily injury? Suzy’s gonna be on the jury if things go sideways, not your firearms instructor or your shooting buddies.
Given all the potential downside, why would anyone risk all that for someone we don’t know? Why?
In short, because we’re just not wired to stand by and let some lunatic mow down kids on a playground around us. Or watch a child abduction and fail to intervene. We’re not going to let some monster stab a woman to death at the checkout at Walmart. We’re certainly not going to let some violent criminal hurt our family members or people we care about. Defending the defenseless is the moral and ethical thing to do.
We carry our guns because it’s better to face the aftermath of thwarting a violent attack that to forfeit our self-defense and ending up dead. No one at my funeral will say, “It’s too bad John didn’t have his gun that day.”
We carry our guns because if we didn’t out of laziness and something terrible happened to our spouse or our children… that would be a terrible, crippling burden to bear for the rest of our lives.
While you almost certainly bear no legal responsibility to act, some of us believe you have an moral and ethical responsibility to act *if* you can do so while minimizing the danger to yourself and your family. At the same time I’ll be the first to admit not everyone feels that way. I generally don’t run with those sorts of folks, but not everyone is blessed with my circle of sheepdog friends.
The bottom line: Just because you’ve got a gun on your hip or in your purse doesn’t make you a junior policeman or crimestopper. Your gun is and always should be the last resort solution. Use your situational awareness to avoid conflict and trouble. De-escalate wherever possible. Trust me, it’ll save you a lot of aggravation, money, time, and heartburn.