Phoenix, AZ:  Of all places to pull an armed robbery of a bank.

Two future research scientists destined to cure cancer and heart disease ran into trouble when they went to make a withdrawal of a trash can full of cash from a credit union in Phoenix using guns.  They parked like jackwagons out front, leaving their getaway car running.  That spurred a nearby business owner to take the keys out of the ignition and await the VIP who parked so stupidly.

Unfortunately for the bank robbers, when they came out, the nearby businessman was like about every third person in Phoenix:  armed.

They showed him their guns and he show them his.  His aim was a lot truer though and he perforated both thugs.

The armed robber/future Nobel Peace Prize recipient carrying the trash can full-o-cash was a couple of quarts low when police and an amberlamps showed up.  He didn’t make it.

His accomplice carjacked a woman, knocking her to the ground before stealing her pickup truck.  He crashed into a few cars trying to make a hasty escape while suffering the effects of lead poisoning.  He made it a few blocks before he became sleepy because of a lack of red stuff and crashed into a minivan.

Sadly, it would appear that he will make it so he’ll have another opportunity to turn his life around and cure cancer and more.

AZCentral has the story.

6 thoughts on “KARMA: Phoenix bank robbers meet armed citizen, suffer perforations”
  1. Don’t advertise that every third person there is armed!

    The criminals just might get smart and move here, where (so far) there are less armed citizens.

    1. I would agree except: 1. Their first winter would drive them back south, and 2. They would probably go to Chicago. Who would even notice them there?

  2. Don’t these stories make you wonder about those low-information bank managers that post no-gun signs by the door.

  3. All-in-all a great outcome!

    Before Sam Whittemore comes on here and starts drooling over everyone’s “balls,” just let me say that the hero had, in the immortal words of the inestimaable Rod Blowjobovich, “testicular fortitude,” indeed.

  4. Someone paged me to the white courtesy phone and I found this story.

    Love it.

    A nice, wholesome, family-friendly story of bravery and good guys triumphing over bad guys. Classic “CCWers” and “Robbers” story.

    And then Ken’s up there talking about balls. Not sure. Maybe he thought the good guy was shooting a black powder cap and ball revolver?

    Good job by all and nice writeup!

    Sam I am, Green eggs and ham

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